


Greeks Bearing Gifts

by Joules Mer (joulesmer)



Series: The Cupid Chronicles [4]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Xena: Warrior Princess, Humor, M/M, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-18 00:29:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21518959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joulesmer/pseuds/Joules%20Mer
Summary: Jocelyn looked human enough, if you didn’t notice how her blood-red nail polish covered what could be mistaken for talons in the right light.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Series: The Cupid Chronicles [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1434730
Comments: 30
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter 1

“Doctor McCoy to the bridge.”

Leonard set down his padd with a huff and turned away from the microscope to answer the comm, trying to keep the frustration out of his tone as he replied, “What’s going on? I’ve got an experiment at a sensitive stage.”

“You have a comm.”

“So re-route it to my office.”

“We’re not strictly in control of the traffic at this time. It’s on the main viewscreen.” Jim paused, sounding slightly strangled when he continued, “And she’s quite insistent on speaking with you.”

Oh. Leonard’s stomach gave a little cramp of suspicion. Remembering the open comm channel, he kept his voice steady as he replied, “I’ll be there shortly.”

**********

Jocelyn looked human enough, if you didn’t notice how her blood-red nail polish covered what could be mistaken for talons in the right light. She dominated the main viewer, glossy auburn locks tumbling over her shoulders, green eyes reflecting the jewel tones of her dress. That slight haughtiness was there— that he’d overlooked when they were courting and come to regret once they were married. There was something almost predatory in her smile as she greeted him with, “Eros.”

“It’s Leonard.”

She clicked her tongue and flatly commented, “Nice choice. Not going blond though?”

Leonard staunchly ignored how Jim’s eyebrow raised at _blond_. “It’s been a while. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“It has been a while. In fact, it’s been hard work; got me thinking that perhaps shared custody of certain _assets_ would be more fair.”

There had to be an ulterior motive; Jocelyn going soft just wasn’t going to happen. Not in a thousand human lifetimes. Narrowing his eyes, Leonard crossed his arms over his chest and asked, “What the hell are you talking about?”

Sure enough, she couldn’t quite keep the smirk off her face as she waved a hand and— 

The bow materialized on the console between Chekov and Sulu, a quiver full of familiar arrows alongside it. 

Jocelyn’s tone was light as she asserted, “Two weeks should be sufficient every couple of decades, don’t you think?” 

The screen flipped to darkness before Leonard could reply.

Sulu turned from the helm controls to fix Leonard with a questioning gaze; it prompted the older man to confirm. “My ex-wife.” Leonard sagged against the railing and ran a hand over his face, trying to gather himself. He opened his eyes to find Jim had already picked up an arrow and was twirling it curiously in his hand as if checking the weight and balance. “Dammit, man! Don’t prick yourself!” Leonard snatched the arrow away and thrust it into the quiver harder than was strictly necessary. “I’m going to lock these away where they can’t get into any trouble.” If he stomped more than strode off the bridge, well, no one was going to comment on it.

**********

Six hours later, off-duty and contemplating going to dinner in the mess hall, Leonard opened the door to the captain’s quarters to find Chekov hovering outside. The young navigator plastered on a smile that was probably meant to be ingratiating and started, “Doctor—” 

“No.”

“But—”

“Absolutely not.”

That just emboldened Chekov to wail, “But she doesn’t know how I feel!”

Eyes wide, Leonard barked, “Talk to her!” Then keyed the door to shut and lock. Spinning around, breathing heavily, he slumped back against the durasteel panel and groaned, “Lordy, it’s bad enough knowing that kid has sex in a general sense from giving him his STD boosters.”

Jim, predictable asshole that he was, just burst out laughing.

“You didn’t see it this afternoon, Jim. They were _lining up_ to see me on increasingly flimsy excuses,” Leonard could feel his eyebrow twitching uncontrollably, “Doctor McCoy, I pinched my finger! Doctor McCoy, I think I have a fever! Doctor McCoy, I’ve just been feeling so _lonely_! At least Chekov was up-front about what he wanted. I can’t go back out there. Just relieve me of duty and I’ll work from my quarters with the door barricaded. Or maybe there’s a planet with a nice plague that needs curing.”

The younger man was laughing so hard that tears were leaking out of the corner of his eyes, only managing to catch his breath enough to force out, “I thought _disease and danger_ weren’t selling points of being out here.”

“They’re not.”

“Fine, fine,” Jim wheezed, trying to calm down, “We’ll eat-in tonight. We can figure out the rest of the two weeks later.”

Leonard grunted his assent and busied himself with the replicator. It was only once they were halfway into their dinners that Jim made an overture of his own, gesturing with a french fry as he asked, “Seriously, Bones, you shoot someone on the crew and—?”

“They spot a potential partner, seduction and carnal delights ensue.”

Jim snorted, batting his eyelashes. “Carnal delights just has a ring to it with your accent.”

“Not happening, Jim.” Leonard dragged a french fry of his own through a pool of jus and asserted, “I said I’d give it all up, and I did. There’ll be a trick in here somewhere: she’s probably convinced someone powerful that if I use it then I should be back on love-duty full time, and that ain’t happening.”

“You can do that here; I could appoint you to a special role,” Something fond and almost wistful blossomed on Jim’s face, “We could call you Lieutenant Commander Love. No, wait: _Doctor Love_.”

“I can murder you and make it look like an allergic reaction.”

Jim’s blue eyes were wide as he replied, “Bones you say the sweetest things.”

Leonard just snorted. Dropped another fry and leaned over the table for a kiss.

**********

Eleven days of relative peace later Jim discovered that _where they can’t get into any trouble_ had actually meant _where the crew would be too afraid to try breaking-in to steal them from_ ; Jim was flattered that Bones considered the captain’s locker that kind of place, but hadn’t expected to run into the bow and arrows.

The contents of the slightly over-full locker shifted as he tried to get to a padd that had slipped down the back and a sharp pain made Jim withdraw his hand with a yelp.

A little drop of blood welled up on his finger.

 _Shit_.


	2. Chapter 2

From the way Leonard’s eyes narrowed when he caught sight of Jim, sweating with the effort it took to _stay in his fucking chair_ and not go down to find Bones in the med bay, the jig was up, effective immediately.

Wild-eyed, Jim held his palms up in supplication and protested, “It was an accident!”

“ _Jim_ —”

“You can’t leave stuff like that in my locker and not tell me, Bones!”

Leonard still looked furious, but something shifted as if he read the truth of the statement and the anger shifted inwards as he barked out, “Dammit!” He had a med scanner out before Jim could blink, waving it furiously in the air as he demanded, “How long have you been like this? That little vein on your forehead is throbbing again— your blood pressure is through the roof!” 

Jim bit back a retort that Leonard’s blood pressure probably wasn’t too great either, given the way his eyebrows were twitching all over the place. It didn’t help that a bead of sweat rolled down his forehead, the salt stinging Jim’s eye and making his vision blur. A large cool hand was pressed to his forehead and Jim leaned into the touch, unable to suppress a soft moan of interest in the contact. Bones muttered something in response that was probably a curse, but it was hard to understand over the rushing of blood in his ears.

The comforting presence of the other man vanished and Jim couldn’t suppress the noise that escaped his mouth; something close to a keen, utterly mortifying.

“Hush,” the soothing hand was back. “I’ve just got to get you relieved of duty.” Hazel eyes swam into view, concerned and enormous, “It’ll be okay, just—” 

Jim looked down at the surface of his desk, how his fingers arched and gripped as if they could scrabble their way into the brushed metal surface. There was some sort of hushed conversation over the comm that he didn’t follow, then _Bones_ was back and Jim let himself be drawn out of his chair and led out of the main part of his quarters.

Bones’ hands were gentle and so very kind; Jim shivered as the air hit his skin, only to be enveloped in a warm embrace. “Shhh, Jim. It’ll be just fine.”

_Fine_ was one word for it.

**********

Awareness came lazily. Incrementally. A sense that there was a soft light on in the room. A sheet stuck to his cheek. A dull ache in his muscles and a stomach that felt empty. It took a moment to muster enough energy to raise his head. It was— Jim frowned; his bedside console informed him it was 1900 hours… the following day?

Something ticked his forehead and Jim reached up to find he had a feather in his hair. _Oh_.

Looking to Jim’s left revealed Leonard sprawled out on his stomach, snoring softly and looking utterly wrecked. There was another downy feather on the blanket beside his head, quivering with the faint gusts of breath.

Jim’s stomach growled and he considered for a moment before fumbling with his left hand for the drawer built into the wall, retrieving one of the meal replacement bars he kept squirreled away. There was a full bottle of water next to the bed, _thank you, Bones_ , which was enough to tide him over. The synth taste of the meal bar wasn’t his favorite, but damned if he was going to get up.

Not caring that a few crumbs scattered over the sheets, Jim leaned against the wall and watched the older man sleep. Bones looked relaxed. _Soft_. That he’d spent centuries subjecting people to the _carnal delights_ Jim had just experienced… holy shit— there was a tug of heat in his belly at the hazy memory, never mind that he still felt exhausted. 

Tossing the wrapper in the general direction of the recycler, Jim leaned down to run his fingers through Leonard’s dark hair as he whispered, “You were holding out on me, Bones.”

Leonard’s next inhale gave a little _snick_ , but otherwise he didn’t respond at all. Jim resisted the urge to chuckle, forced to admit that sleep didn’t seem like a bad idea at all. Stretching out on the bed, he curled back against the line of Leonard’s body and let himself drift off. 

**********

Three hours later Jim blinked awake to the butt end of a medical scanner waving in front of his face. “Bones!” Jerking backwards, he blinked in the light and exclaimed, “Watch where you point that!”

Hair in disarray, Leonard nonetheless managed to project an air of his usual authority as he announced, “No lasting effects, but I’ll see you to the medical bay for some vitamins.”

“Nuh-uh,” Jim dodged his arm like the slippery devil he was, “I’ll see _myself_ to the bar for a drink.”

The younger man was heading for the door when Leonard rolled his eyes and bellowed, “Pants!”

Just another day in the ‘fleet.


End file.
